The Brain Dump

Doodle studies continue . . . My lack of grammar knowledge is beginning to weigh on me. I, of course, have no one to blame but myself, but I instead choose to blame pandas (lazy bastards). Christina and I have also designated Friday as our doodle study day, during which we'll try to retain all the things our tutor Cathrine has been giving us.

On a side note, Mandarin grammar is proving to be way easier to learn (when I bother to learn it) than, say . . . English grammar. For instance, I asked Cathrine how you change a verb to the future tense ("I will have") or the simple past ("I had"), and she replied, "Pfft . . . changing the verb . . . you just indicate the time to denote the 'tense' (e.g. "Yesterday, I have three books.")." Mandarin grammar really makes English grammar look like an asshole.

Anywho:

Monday

勹 - bao1 (to wrap)
的 - de (a suffix to nouns and pronouns: A 的 B means "A's B, the B of A;" a grammatical particle), di4 (bull's-eye)
包 - bao1 (to wrap; family name)
跑 - pao3 (run)
报 - bao4 (to hold in your arms, to hug; to have your first grandchild; to adopt a child; to cherish; to sit on eggs to hatch them; a measure for armfuls; [dialect] to consort with, to hang out with)
袍 - yi1 (gown [side-gown radical]); Just the left side of this one
饱 - [no pronunciation] (side-food radical); Just the left side of this one

Tuesday

饱 - bao3 (to be full, to have had enough to eat)
火 - huo3 (fire)
己 - ji3 (self; the sixth "heavenly stem" [used to enumerate headings in an outline])
已 - yi3 (already; to end, cease)
巳 - si4 (the sixth "earthly branch")
纪 - ji4 (write down; record; year; discipline), ji3 (to order, a family name)
记 - ji4 (to remember; to record; mark, sign)

Wednesday

吧 - ba (a sentence-final particle; indicates supposition [". . . , I guess"] or suggestion ["Maybe you should . . ."]), ba1 (snap! [onomatopoetic]; to draw [suck] on [e.g., a tobacco pipe]; bar [drinking place])
把 - ba3 (to grasp; a handful; to guard; a particle used to bring direct objects in front of the verb; a measure for things with handles [knives, teapots] or that you grasp [chairs, handfuls of rice, bunches of flowers])
爸 - ba4 (papa, father)
爪 - zhao3 (claws); The Wolverine doodle
爬 - pa2 (to crawl; to creep; to climb)
本 - ben3 (root; volume [book]; capital [money]; principal [money]; a measure for books)
对 - dui4 (to face; facing; to match; be correct)

Thursday

说 - shuo1 (to speak), shui4 (try to persuade)
姑 - gu1 (unmarried daughter; father's or husband's sister; temporarily; be lenient)
故 - [no pronunciation] (Knock radical); Actually just the right side of this one
故 - gu4 (be ancient; to die; cause; intentionally)
苦 - ku3 (be bitter)
重 - zhong4 (be heavy), chong2 (do over again, to repeat by mistake)
懂 - dong3 (to understand); "我不懂" is possibly the most useful sentence in Chinese

Friday

疋 - pi3 (bolt [of cloth])
是 - shi4 (to be, am, is, are; be right); This one's a tad important . . .
先 - xian1 (to precede; late [deceased])
生 - sheng1 (to bear [to give birth to])
亥 - hai4 (the twelfth "earthly branch," used in enumerations and to name two-hour periods of the day)
孩 - hai2 (child)
咳 - hai1 ("Depressing!" or "Regrettable!" or "Astonishing!;"), ke2 (cough, to cough; first syllable of ke2sou4, "cough")

I'm taking a rain check on tonight's doodles. I'm tired. I'll post them tomorrow.

This is not a cop-out . . . only a postponement.

I severely underestimated how much joy I would feel while failing many of my students. I thought maybe I would feel a little remorse, maybe a little guilty . . . nope. None o' that. In fact, I feel a little giddy. Mwa ha ha . . .

It's not that I want them to fail. It's more that . . . well . . . these students have been such little shits all semester that it just warms my heart to know (because it's up to me) that (at least in my class) these students will get the grade they most richly earned.

I mean, seriously: Daydreaming, sleeping during class, texting, (<---and these are the options I hope to see in class! because usually there's more) talking in class, having little doodle conversations (the bastards) while I'm trying to lecture or while their classmates are trying to improve their oral English, playing music on their damn phones, talking on their damn phones--I actually had students make calls right in the middle of class!--blank stares when I ask them to stop, when I ask their opinion, when I ask them if they have any idea what we are talking about in class.

I have yelled, I have asked, I have pleading that they pay attention, act respectfully, shut the fuck up, and everything I say gets ignored. I tried to get them not to come to class, so that they couldn't be disruptive. That, of course, was disregarded. Ooooooh, but now it's my turn. Now the teacher gets his say.

I took attendance in all my classes last week. It was the first time the whole semester I did so and it wasn't because I cared who showed up. Oh no. It was so that I could mark by each name their participation grade. I have one class of fifty-two students . . . twenty-two are receiving zeros for participation. This minor victory is couched a little because of the terrible way we have to proportion our grades. Participation and such are only 20% of the final grade, the final oral exam being the remaining 80%.

Oh but my day will come. Because I can guarantee you right now the students who didn't participate in my class are the students who will not be performing well on the final exam.

It's these little things that keep my world turning 'round. . . .

I severely underestimated how much joy I would feel while failing many of my students. I thought maybe I would feel a little remorse, maybe a little guilty . . . nope. None o' that. In fact, I feel a little giddy. Mwa ha ha . . .

It's not that I want them to fail. It's more that . . . well . . . these students have been such little shits all semester that it just warms my heart to know (because it's up to me) that (at least in my class) these students will get the grade they most richly earned.

I mean, seriously: Daydreaming, sleeping during class, texting, (<---and these are the options I hope to see in class! because usually there's more) talking in class, having little doodle conversations (the bastards) while I'm trying to lecture or while their classmates are trying to improve their oral English, playing music on their damn phones, talking on their damn phones--I actually had students make calls right in the middle of class!--blank stares when I ask them to stop, when I ask their opinion, when I ask them if they have any idea what we are talking about in class.

I have yelled, I have asked, I have pleading that they pay attention, act respectfully, shut the fuck up, and everything I say gets ignored. I tried to get them not to come to class, so that they can't be disruptive. That, of course, is disregarded. Ooooooh, but now it's my turn. Now the teacher gets his say.

I took attendance in all my classes last week. It was the first time the whole semester I did so and it wasn't because I cared who showed up. Oh no. It was so that I could mark by each name their participation grade. I have one class (admittedly my worst) of fifty-two students . . . twenty-two are receiving zeros for participation. This minor victory is couched a little because of the terrible way we have to proportion our grades. Participation and such (all the actual work they do during the semester) is only 20% of the final grade, the final oral exam being the remaining 80%.

Oh but my day will come. Because I can guarantee you right now that the students who didn't participate in my class are the students who will not do well on the final exam.

It's these little things that keep my world turning 'round. . . .

Monday

谢 - xie4 (thanks)
橘 - ju2 (tangerine)
结 - jie2 (to tie together; knot), jie1 (to bear fruit)
熹 - xi3 (to enjoy, to give enjoyment to); This one actually doesn't use the four dots on the bottom, but I couldn't find that version of the character
欢 - huan1 (be pleased)
足 - zu2 (foot; be sufficient)
跟 - gen1 (heel; to follow, to go with; with)

Tuesday

青 - qing1 (be green or blue)
请 - qing3 (to invite; please . . .); Yes, that's how it is in the book, ellipsis and all
情 - qing2 (emotion; circumstances)
清 - qing1 (be clear; to clear)
晴 - qing2 (clear sky)
睛 - jing1 (the pupil of the eye)
问 - wen4 (to ask for information)

Wednesday

闻 - wen2 (to hear)
间 - jian4 (space; be separated from; to separate, "drive a wedge between," sow discord, Yoko Ono), jian1 (between; a measure-word for rooms); I may have embellished this one. . . .
别 - bie2 (to separate, to part; Don't . . . !)
朋 - peng2 (friend)
友 - you3 (friend)
父 - fu4 (father)
毋 - wu2 (don't!)

Thursday

见 - jian4 (to see, to perceive)
亲 - qin1 (relatives; to hold dear; in person), qing4 (relatives by a marriage)
母 - mu3 (mother)
哥 - ge1 (elder brother)
吊 - diao4 (to pity)
弟 - di4 (younger brother; family name)
姐 - jie3 (older sister)

Friday

妹 - mei4 (younger sister)
纸 - zhi3 (paper)
长 - chcang2 (be long), zhang3 (to grow; be senior)
张 - zhang1 (to open out, to open up; a measure for objects coming in sheets; a family name)
画 - hua4 (to paint, a painting)
臼 - jiu4 (mortar)
白 - bai2 (be white; a family name)

The heavens part and drums roll like thunder . . .

Animals bow and the baboon steps forward . . .

Behold . . .

Here stands before you a man . . . who would read doodles.

And I did! It was at a supermarket that opened up today(!), which meant that every doodle in the province wanted to stop by and check out the low low prices. Christina's and my tutor, Cathrine, and her ever-present friend, Lucy, gave us a call to tell us the good news (that the supermarket was opening), and Christina and I decided to see what all the hub-bub was about, seeing as we our out of rice.

The place was mobbed. The only thing missing was the rage virus. But. But! That isn't what's important. None of this, in fact, is important. What's important is that this guy [*twiddles thumbs at self*], this guy is the guy who finally read a sign in doodles. The sign--that magical, literacy unlocking sign--read this:

小心有电

Ha HA! I know, I know--not exactly Earth-shattering. But I'll take it!

For those who are doodle-impaired, allow me to explain what this wonderous sign is saying. The characters read as thus: xiao3xin1 you3 dian4. 小, you may recall (if you've been keeping up with your doodles), means "small," and 心 means "heart." However, when they are crammed together, they form a compound doodle that means "Caution." Don't ask why. The next one, 有, is the verb "to have," but it can also mean "There is" or "There are." I learned this doodle this week, I believe. The last one, 电, means "electricity." I shouldn't know that one but I do because I kept seeing it around and finally asked one of my students what it was on one random occasion.

So.

Following from the doodles, I correctly read the sign as saying: "Caution, Electricity"

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So what I'm really trying to say is:

1) I saw the sign.
2) It did, indeed, open up my eyes.

And now it's like a whole new world has opened up before me. A whole new world! Hit it, Nick!

My New Zealand friend, Robert, told me something interesting on my birthday a couple weeks ago. He said that I'm a year older here in China than I am in the United States--twenty-seven, instead of twenty-six. This is because the Chinese say you are already a year old on the day you are born. In the ol' US of A, you have to live that year before it counts. The Chinese go ahead and give it to you on credit. Or, as Robert put it, "There optimists in that regard." So go fig. I'm a year older (wiser?) just by being here.

I share this along with something else. I recently learned how to say "hair" (tou2fa1, 头发), and, already knowing the word for red, felt confident telling my students (chest puffed out with pride), "我的头发是红色的!" (My hair is red!). But when I did, their spoony little faces did not fill with joy as I had assumed they would, but puzzlement. "红色的?" they said. "不是红色的!" And now we're all confused.

"What color do you think my hair is?" I ask them.

"Yellow!" yell a chorus of giggly doodles.

"Yellow?! You think I'm blond?"

"Yes!" yell some. "黄色的!" yell others. "Yellow!"

Thinking this class silly, I asked my next. The same response. I asked more people and they all said the same thing, culminating with a short but fun discussion of American and Chinese concepts of beauty between myself, Christina, our Mandarin tutor, Cathrine, and her friend, Lucy. The Chinese have spoken: Chris Walsh is blond.

These thoughts have been tickling my brain the past day or so. I share my body with a blond twenty-seven-year-old. I wonder how else this Chinese Chris differs from his American counterpart. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Here they are, as promised. The doodles I am studying for this week (I'm pretty stoked as some of these (like the numbers) seem actually pertinent to my life):

Monday

都 - yi4 (city); Just the right side of this guy, looks like an ear . . . has nothing to do with an ear
都 - dou1 (all), du1 (metropolis, capital)
廾 - gong3 (clasped hands)
廿 - nian4 (twenty); Picture of two tens stuck together . . . though most just say "er4shi2" . . . which means twenty
或 - huo4 (perhaps; or)
匚 - fang1 (basket)
四 - si4 (four)

Tuesday

五 - wu3 (five)
六 - liu4 (six)
七 - qi1 (seven)
九 - jiu3 (nine)
什 - shen2 (the first syllable of shen2me, or "what?")
么 - me (the second syllable of shen2me, or "what?")
桌 - zhuo1 (table)

Wednesday

椅 - yi3 (chair)
东 - dong1 (east)
戋 - jian1 (to be thin)
钱 - qian2 (money; a family name)
浅 - qian3 (be shallow, superficial; be mild)
个 - ge4 (a "measure" used to enumerate nouns in the construction "number + ge4 + noun;" be individual)
文 - wen2 (pattern; language, literature, culture; civil (opposed to military); a family name)

Thursday

这 - zhei4, zhe4 (this)
那 - na4, nei4, ne4 (that [opposite of "this"])
合 - he2 (to join, to bring together)
给 - gei3 (to give; to allow; for [someone] . . .), ji1 (to supply)
有 - [no pronunciation] ("Top of 左"); Just the upper and left parts here--not the rectangular part
有 - you3 (to have; there is; there are)
干 - gan1 (shield; have to do with; be dry, be dried; be empty; emptily, futilely), gan4 (trunk, main part; to do)

Friday

走 - zou3 (to walk)
厂 - chang3 (factory)
刊 - dao1 (knife [side-knife radical]); Just the right side here
殳 - shu1 (club, to club)
没 - mo4 (inundate), mei2 (negates you3 and other verbs)
身 - shen1 (torso)
寸 - cun4 (thumb; inch)

Everybody still with me? So we can now count to ten, which means we can string 'em together and count to a hundred (Woo!). Actually, with this batch, I'm getting a little more optimistic on the whole "reading a single sign" front. More next week.

Alright, alright. I promised to post the other set of characters that I'm running through on Friday of last week and I didn't. So I'm a big, fat liar-face. Not that I imagine any of you are exactly vibrating with joy to see me list another thirty-five doodles. Well, whether you like it or not, today is Doodle Day, and to make up for my liar-face-ness, you'll get the rest tomorrow.

Here we go:

Monday

刀 - dao1 (knife); I'm told it looks like a knife . . . maybe if you're Chinese
分 - fen1 (to divide; a fraction; a very small part), fen4 (a component; a share, one's lot); This one's a picture of the knife cutting something in half
皿 - min3 (dish); I try to think of a dish drying rack . . . you find what works for you
立 - li4 (to stand; to cause to stand, to set up; to be standing; be upright, vertical; to exist, to live; immediate [right away, instant]); Yeah, I still have trouble with this one . . . I try to work the vertical thing . . . this doodle sucks
里 - li3 (village; lining; inside, in), li (1/3 an English mile)
理 - li3 (grain [e.g., of wood]; principle; reason, logic, truth; [by metonymy] natural science; to set in order; to speak to; to pay attention to); Mmmm . . . good luck with this one, too
中 - zhong1 (middle; Chinese), zhong4 (hit the middle, fit perfectly; be hit or affected by); This one's easy enough, and, since it means "China" when combined with 国, it's friggin' everywhere

Tuesday

钟 - zhong1 (clock; family name); A metal zhong . . .
表 - [no pronunciation], this one's actually just the top part, and is called "top of 青"--I like a language that's practical
表 - biao3 (to show; be on the surface, be external; list, form; meter, gauge; watch [timepiece])
国 - guo2 (nation)
羊 - yang2 (sheep, goat; a family name); Supposed to be a picture . . . whatever
外 - wai4 (outside; relatives of one's mother, sisters, or daughters); Still wrapping my head around this one
看 - kan4 (to look at), kan1 (to look after, take care of); This is the character for hand on top of the character for eye . . . that equals "to look at" for the doodles

Wednesday

西 - xi1 (west)
贵 - gui4 (expensive); *shrug*
更 - geng4 (still more), geng1 (to change; a "watch" [two hour period of the night])
便 - bian4 (be convenient), pian2 (first syllable of pian2yi [be expensive])
祖 - [no pronunciation] (side-hand radical); This one is actually just the left half of that doodle
且 - qie3 (further); just memorize it
祖 - zu3 (grandfather; ancestor; a family name); See above

Thursday

租 - zu1 (rent, to rent; hire, lease)
组 - zu3 (to organize; a unit of organization, such as a section or department)
宜 - yi2 (be appropriate)
要 - yao4 (to want, to ask for; be "wanted," be important, essential)
署 - wang3 (net); Actually just the top part, kinda looks like a net . . .
头 - tou2 (head; a suffix used to form nouns and noun-phrases; a bulb [of garlic]; a measure word for certain animals)
买 - mai3 (to buy)

Friday

卖 - mai4 (to sell)
日 - ri4 (sun); like the moon with less strokes . . .
老 - [no pronunciation], actually just the top part, some radical or another . . .
老 - lao3 (old)
者 - zhe3 (a sufix for verbs [verb + 者 = "a person who . . .", compare with English suffix -er])
猪 - quan3 (dog); Actually just the left side (side-dog)
猪 - zhu1 (pig)

I have decided that Monday will be Doodle Day--that special day when I share with you the thirty-five Chinese characters I will be learning this week. I have fallen horribly behind on my doodle studies, so I'm hoping this added obligation to do it will keep me a little more on task. Yeah . . . we'll see how far that gets me.

Anywho. Though I have fallen behind on studying, I've still studied more than I have told you about. So, at least for this week, I'll have two Doodle Days, until I catch up to where I am in my doodle book. It won't take long . . .

So here we are:

Monday

矢 - shi4 (arrow; to vow)
矮 - ai3 (be short [not tall])
忙 - mang2 (be busy)
心 - xin1 (heart)
您 - nin2 (deferential "you")
元 - yuan2 (first; "dollar;" Japanese yen)
[chuo4] - chuo4 (to halt) . . . it's the left side of the next character.

Tuesday

远 - yuan3 (be far away; family name)
云 - yun2 (to say; a cloud; family name)
运 - yun4 (to transport; fate, luck)
[fu4] - fu4 (mound) . . . left side of the next character
院 - yuan4 (public building; courtyard)
园 - yuan2 (park, garden) . . . tired of the yuans yet?
不 - bu4 (a negative prefix for verbs and adverbs)

Wednesday

太 - tai4 (extremely)
高 - gao1 (be tall; to tower; family name)
搞 - gao3 (to do, make; to manage, to get; to purge)
又 - you4 (again)
月 - yue4 (month; moon)
可 - ke3 (can, may; to suit; certainly)
啊 - a1 (a sentence-final particle--for questions, exclamations, commands, warnings, reminders, emphatic pauses, enumerations, direct address, impatient statements, and any-fucking-thing else the Chinese want. . . .

Thursday

聿 - [no pronunciation] (OK . . . technically, I'm only studying the radical here, which is this character without the bottom line . . . it's called "the top of 聿" and has no other definition . . . I do not know what 聿 means . . . I do not know why I need to know this . . .)
书 - shu1 (book; letter; document; to write)
节 - jie2 (technically, this is just the bottom part of this character . . . the "seal ring" radical)
报 - bao4 (to announce, report; newspaper; to requite)
毛 - mao2 (hair, fur, feathers; wool; mildew; semi-finished; gross [not net]; a measure for dimes; family name) . . . a measure for dimes? . . . sigh . . .
笔 - bi3 (brush, writing instrument)
玩 - wan2 (to play, to amuse oneself)

Friday

钅 - jin1 (gold, metals; family name)
山 - shan1 (mountain
钢 - gang1 (steel); also gang4 (to sharpen, whet)
八 - ba1 (eight)
铅 - qian1 (lead [the metal])
米 - mi3 (rice)
目 - mu4 (eye)

Ahhh . . . so that's all of them. I'll update again, probably Friday, with this week's other list. Fun and informative (I still can't read signs)!